What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
