Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
