Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
