He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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