It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
