i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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