This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
