Your dad touched me again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
