I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
