Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
