A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
