Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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