I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
