oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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