I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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