I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she smelled like a LAN party
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
