He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
