The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
not ubering you a puppy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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