Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
