I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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