This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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