I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it's like iHOP with fire
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
