so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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