Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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