I looked at my own cervix.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
