A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
wakey wakey hands off snakey
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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