I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
