I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
