we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
