dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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