He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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