You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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