It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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