erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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