So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
