You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
