mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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