before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
