We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
