I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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