I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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