The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
