your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
