I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
