Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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