okay pat passed out under dana's car
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
