Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
