I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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