Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
