She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
wow bdsm is so cute
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
