theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
