If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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