I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
do nipples grow back?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
